Cowart's Common Room
Howlers for Red Nose Day

Please post your worst joke here

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde climbed to the top of the helterskelter at the fair. At the top a strange little goblin figure told them that if they shouted their greatest desire as they slid down, it would come true.
The brunette jumped onto her mat and screamed Money as she went down and landed in a great pile of 20 pound notes.
The redhead jumped onto her mat and screamed Men as she went down and landed into a pile of really hunky men.
The blonde who hadn't really understood jumped onto her mat and screamed WEEEEEEE

Posted at 13th Mar 2009 - 10:17AM   Posted by Toady   Howlers for Red Nose Day Comments: 13

Re:
Woozle1967's Avatar Oh, very funny, Toady!xx

Posted by: Woozle1967 on 13th Mar 2009 at 10:43AM

Re:
Milla's Avatar very funny (brunette says smugly)

Posted by: Milla on 13th Mar 2009 at 10:47AM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar HS and I laughing out loud here . . .

Posted by: Westerwitch on 13th Mar 2009 at 11:11AM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar Chortling in amongst my eiderdown of men!

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 13th Mar 2009 at 11:41AM

Re:
Fennie's Avatar WEEEEE! It's like the three women in front of the firing squad. The brunette shouts Earthquake! and the firing squad run for cover; then the redhead is brought out. She shouts Tsunami and the firing squad run away. Then it's the blonde's turn and she is trying very hard. When the firing squad are ready she shouts Fire!

Well you did ask for my worst joke.

Posted by: Fennie on 13th Mar 2009 at 11:45AM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar GROAN!!!!Very Happy

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 13th Mar 2009 at 11:56AM

Re:
Milla's Avatar groan, yes, but a goody, still.
C'mon blondes, fight back!

Posted by: Milla on 13th Mar 2009 at 12:21PM

Re:
Q What do you call a judge with no thumbs?


A Justice Fingers.
Rolling Eyes

Posted by: Zoe on 13th Mar 2009 at 01:26PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar Why did the burglar cut the legs off his bed . . .

Because he wanted to lie low for a while . . .

Posted by: Westerwitch on 13th Mar 2009 at 01:30PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?


A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick,
And a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,

'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Posted by: Milla on 13th Mar 2009 at 02:57PM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar Very HappyLaughing

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 13th Mar 2009 at 03:34PM

Re:
Fennie's Avatar Ho hoVery HappyVery Happy And if we are on drunks:

Two peanuts were walking down the road and one peanut was

assaulted

peanut

Posted by: Fennie on 13th Mar 2009 at 06:59PM

Re:
Silverhead's Avatar A man and his wife in their sixties found an old lantern lying at the foot of their garden.
The wife picked it up and rubbed it and a beautiful fairy appeared before them.
She granted them three wishes each.
The wife went first and said that she would like to have enough money to pay off their debts, see to the kids and still have enough for her beloved husband and herself to go for a round the world cruise.
Her husband said that he too would like to pay off the debts, and have enough money for the kids.
Then he turned to his wife and said "but for my third wish, I'm sorry my dear but my wish is that I will go on the cruise with someone 30 years younger than me.
The fairy waved her wand and immediately the man became 90 years oldShocked
The moral of the story is "Always remember that fairies are femail".

Posted by: Silverhead on 13th Mar 2009 at 11:54PM

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