Cowart's Common Room
From Sam to her Family

That's you guys, incase you were wondering!!!

Words will never be adequate to express the way you have all touched my heart today. Your love, care and support have been amazing, and I find it matters not one scrap that we mostly have never met, or even spoken aloud to each other. No it matters not. Family is about sticking together, watching out for each other, sticking up for each other - going the distance. You guys are my family. Thank you. Blessings one thousand-fold.

The funeral went well. The day was forecast to be wet. It started out grey and with a light drizzle. When we arrived at the church the clouds parted and the sun came out, and it shone throughout the service, bringing the rosewood of his coffin to brilliant life. I delivered my Eulogy with pride, spoke strongly and didn't falter. People asked, "how could I do it?" I replied "how could I not???" Your purple love was in my heart and it gave me strength to carry on. About five people spoke - his boss lovingly and glowingly about my darling, made me so proud on so many levels. There was not a seat in the church to be found, and the porch was packed to overflowing. His father did not speak, he said he'd said all he needed to say already. Well, he must have said it very quietly, for I never heard him, and I was listening these past 11 months......

We followed the hearse a few miles to the crematorian, and we paused in a long line of cars in a wonderful grove of trees. The back of the hearse was opened and we all gathered round to the sweet sound of birdsong to say our final goodbye, and then we went off while they took him inside to do what they needed to do. We went a few more miles to the function centre and enjoyed a wonderful afternoon of refreshments and comaraderie in a very special place overlooking mature trees, rolling green hills, stone walls and lovely farmland. Richie would have loved it. The sun continued to shine until we got home and then the clouds gathered again, and the wind whipped the rain into dervishes.

One funny thing....the night before the family was sitting around talking and I was saying how much I missed him, and then all of a sudden the lights flickered on and off. They did it three times, it was as if we were in a storm but in fact the night was still.....

And on a light note - not realising that often Amazing Grace is shortened to three or four verses, I cut and pasted the words from a web site into my order of service sheet. When I showed it to Rosemary, who played the organ at the church today, she said "So we're having all 7 verses then?" By then I had printed 90... so yep, it was the Uncut Version for us, and by crikey, it was good!

Love to each and every one of you,
Sam xoxoxooxox

Posted at 16th Dec 2008 - 09:35AM   Posted by Cowgirl   From Sam to her Family Comments: 37

Pipany's Avatar Well done Sam, you have got through that dreaded day. Thnak you for thinking of us when we are all so busy thinking of you. We will continue to do so, so just shout if you need us sweetie xx

Posted by: Pipany on 16th Dec 2008 at 09:46AM

Sumarell's Avatar I'm so glad the service and the day were so special. And I'm sure the flickering lights were a sign. Hold onto those wonderful memories.
Sending hugs and strength

Posted by: Sumarell on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:00AM

Withy Brook's Avatar Bless you Sam. I have been praying for you and Richie's soul, though until now I did not know whether you were 'Church'. You will continue in my prayers over the months to come, and I will always be available if you want someone 'unattached' to 'talk' to. Just pm me. My love to you, Withy

Posted by: Withy Brook on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:02AM

Tattie Weasle's Avatar Both of you were in our thoughts here in Suffolk and I am so happy that it all went so well - including Amazing Grace! Take greatest care and as you know we're always here...

Posted by: Tattie Weasle on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:14AM

Blossomcottage's Avatar I have no doubt in my mind that Richard is there watching out for you, the light was to to let you know.
I am so glad you found such comfort from all the prayers and thoughts from around the world and that you know we will all be here for you always.

Posted by: Blossomcottage on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:21AM

Woozle1967's Avatar Dear Sam - we were thinking of you here and sending much love your way. Take care honey. Love, Carmen.xx

Posted by: Woozle1967 on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:29AM

Fennie's Avatar Thank you, Sam, for bringing a total stranger into your family on the other side of the globe. I was a little hesitant, fearing I had no business intruding into private grief. But love is never one way: strangely I feel you have been supporting us, even as we have been supporting you. Many of us, I am sure have been moved deeply. And yes, spirits, do return, a last flickering of the lights , or even several flickerings. At Mariella's funeral the church door would not stay closed. It opened three times of its own accord until someone bolted it shut. She was my father's third wife and he had died a couple of years before her. Everybody was sure this was his spirit, returning to pay his respects. A big hug to you, Sam. Love Fenniexx

Posted by: Fennie on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:36AM

Suffolkmum's Avatar I'm sure he was there by your side the whole way.

Posted by: Suffolkmum on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:39AM

Milla's Avatar Darling girl thank you for that great account. We were all thinking of you (even when I was tersely snapping at fins to eat his broccoli stalks I was thinking of you). And what a wonderful response, "how could I not?' xx

Posted by: Milla on 16th Dec 2008 at 11:03AM

Sam, thank you for sharing that with us. You know your virtual family are all here for you. Lots of love x

Posted by: @themill on 16th Dec 2008 at 11:29AM

Faith's Avatar That was wonderful to read. Just got out of my car and was listening to a Christmas cd and Amazing Grace was the last one I heard - I love it. Yes, I believe the flickering light was Richie letting you know he is still around.

You are a very brave girl.

F xx

Posted by: Faith on 16th Dec 2008 at 11:41AM

Cait's Avatar You are an inspiration to me Sam, I am just so pleased that the day went well and you had the strength with you. I too feel you are helping us in some way as well.

(Spirits are well known for making themselves known through electrical applicances so that was Richard to be sure).


Posted by: Cait on 16th Dec 2008 at 11:50AM

Ivy's Avatar You are such a strong woman Cowgirl. Tears were streaming down my face when I read your eulogy. Actually I wanted to read it out loud but my voice was breaking. Don't be bitter about your fil. He seems to be a person afraid of his own emotions. Maybe it's better he didn't speak because it might have only been an account of facts but not of what made Richie so special. I left my candle out on the terrace when I had to go to bed and when I woke up at 1 Am (1 pm your time) it was still shining out into the clear and dark midwinter night. My thoughts and prayers will continue for you and the soul of your dear husband.

Posted by: Ivy on 16th Dec 2008 at 11:53AM

Bayou's Avatar Dear Sam,
whilst I was travelling I did think of you often during the day.
I am deeply impressed how brave you are. I hope you can enjoy some gardening. Take good care. With love from Belgium.

Posted by: Bayou on 16th Dec 2008 at 12:17PM

Frances's Avatar Sam,

Your amazing strength and stong faith inspire me so much. Thank you for letting us know you. Every one of us is enriched by the opportunity to share time with you.

I so hope that you will be able to find some quiet and some restful time. Love to you. xo

Posted by: Frances on 16th Dec 2008 at 01:10PM

Lawyerlady's Avatar Sam , Thank you. You have enriched all our lives and have shown us what a family we are. Whenever you need our help or a listening ear, we will all be there for you . I am proud to call you my friend.We all love you.

Posted by: Lawyerlady on 16th Dec 2008 at 01:18PM

Elizabethd's Avatar My prayers will continue to be with you Sam.

Posted by: Elizabethd on 16th Dec 2008 at 01:31PM

Elizabethm's Avatar I was travelling so lit a candle in my mind which is still burning for you and richie.
Loved your eulogy. I hope you will continue to feel our love and support in the days ahead.

Posted by: Elizabethm on 16th Dec 2008 at 01:35PM

Angel's Avatar I have thought about you all day. You are indeed a brave girl Sam and I am smiling at your rendition of Amazing Grace and imagine him smiling down on you too.

I have no doubt whatsover that the flickering candle was a 'sign.' Whether people agree or not, YOU have to take such signs and 'use' them when they show themselves to you-they will give you strength and comfort just when you need will see.

Take care my friend.


Posted by: Angel on 16th Dec 2008 at 01:43PM

Patsy's Avatar Sam, you've come throught the most difficult day with strength and grace. Richie must have been so proud of you!
May you continue to feel supported and comforted by those about you.
You are in our thoughts,
patsy xx

Posted by: Patsy on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:05PM

Preseli Mags's Avatar Thank you for sharing the details. I'm glad to hear that the clouds parted and the sun shone for you. You continue to be in my thoughts. xx Mags.

Posted by: Preseli Mags on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:13PM

Mootia's Avatar I'm sure we are all really glad that you felt our 'presence' at Richie's funeral giving you sounds as though you had a service to be proud of - and one that did Richie proud. And those flickering lightbulbs - oldest trick in the book! - I hope he finds other ways to show his presence to you. Keep strong and always pop by if you feel in need of support...xx

Posted by: Mootia on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:23PM

He will be by your side, all ways.

Together, a flock of beating wings,
I am as light, as feathery,
As gone from gravity we soar
In heavenly circles.

Bless you, Sam.

Posted by: AerialArmadillo on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:27PM

Westerwitch's Avatar Thank you for this Sam - and yes of course the lights were Richard - think he was laughing and giving you a conspiratorial wink when he did it though.

I am very proud to be part of such a big 'family' and we know that distance and time are not a barrier for us.

Love and hugs to you.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:51PM

Mountainear's Avatar Thank you Sam for sharing this day. My thoughts were with you. x

Posted by: Mountainear on 16th Dec 2008 at 02:56PM

Crystal Jigsaw's Avatar We were all there with you, including Richard.

You are an inspiration to all.

Bless You, CJ xx

Posted by: Crystal Jigsaw on 16th Dec 2008 at 04:14PM

Toady's Avatar Thanks Sam.


Posted by: Toady on 16th Dec 2008 at 04:31PM

LittleBrownDog's Avatar So glad to hear it went well - sounds as though it was a lovely service. Although I wasn't here to post earlier, I was thinking of you.

x x x

Posted by: LittleBrownDog on 16th Dec 2008 at 06:58PM

Bradan's Avatar Dear Sam, you are an inspiration.
I thought about you so much yesterday, we lit a candle for you and Richard and it burned for hours until it was just the tiniest flame. I'm so glad the funeral went well and that Richard paid the wee visit the evening before. Love B. xx

Posted by: Bradan on 16th Dec 2008 at 07:23PM

Like all the others, I haven't stopped thinking about you, and you must be going through.

I have read that after a while, people who are supporting you at the moment, drift off, and feel that you 'should be alright by now! '.

I am not qualified, obviously, to say that will happen to you, with your friends and family, but whether it does, or whether it doesn't , we at Purplecoo will still be there to hold your hand, and listen to whatever it is that you want say, for however long it takes, even if it's years.

We are always with you.

All my love, you poor dear girl...

Sue xxxxx

Posted by: Sueatkilmeedy on 16th Dec 2008 at 09:56PM

Irish Eyes's Avatar Very proud of you Sam, and those flickering lights were definitely a certain soul passing through. Keep that chin up!

IE xx

Posted by: Irish Eyes on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:13PM

Arosebyanyothername's Avatar Dear Sam
You have shown such remarkable fortitude and bravery. You are an example to us all and all our candles are small compared to your shining light.
I have been much touched by your tragedy and the way you have dealt with it. I am not surprised that you have drawn us all closer together but I wish it had not had to happen this way. May you continue to find the strength and love to cope in the days ahead. We are all thinking of you and still holding hands. Love and blessings Rosie XX

Posted by: Arosebyanyothername on 16th Dec 2008 at 10:27PM

Camilla's Avatar My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you dear Sam. I am pleased the day went well, hope that you will be able to find some rest in the coming days Sam.


Posted by: Camilla on 17th Dec 2008 at 12:27AM

Pondside's Avatar How brave of you to write and speak about Richard in a eulogy. I'm sure that in years to come it will be a great comfort to you to have done so.
Thinking of you.

Posted by: Pondside on 17th Dec 2008 at 01:15AM

CalicoKate's Avatar I haven't been able to read the respones from the others to your post so I'm sorry if I am echoing what has already been said. I need to start the day (late anyway) without crying!
The wonderful word written by wonderful ladies blow me away.
But my goodness you were brave & strong to be able to read your beautiful Eulogy without faltering. I hope you draw comfort from flikering lights and know that he will always walk by your side.
Much love

Posted by: CalicoKate on 17th Dec 2008 at 10:38AM

Exmoorjane's Avatar All the love in the world, dear girl. As you know, I was with you in heart and spirit (if not here) throughout the vigil and the funeral.....
Yes, we are family, all of us......glad you know that.
The eulogy was wonderful and I am stunned and awed at the way you delivered Richie was too.
Biggest of big hugs....Janexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 17th Dec 2008 at 12:23PM

Like everyone else, I was thinking of you and will be in the days to come. As Jane said, the eulogy was wonderful. x

Posted by: HimalayanBlue on 17th Dec 2008 at 09:15PM

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