Cowart's Common Room
Cowgirl and Richard

I don't know quite how to type this and have tears streaming down my face......this has come in from Sam.....

Ok, everyone, this it the one I really hoped I wouldn't be ever writing.

At 11.30 this morning, Richie died after another massive bleed from his liver.

He wasn't in a too much pain as they gave him tons of morphine, and I was right there with him all the time. He had actually had a good night, and was looking forward to having a go at his breakfast, when I arrived at about 9am. He sat up prior to trying to get out of bed, and came over unwell, with dizziness and chills. Despite being right there and all attention given there was nothing anyone could do. He went down for an emergancy ct scan which showed yet another part of his liver had started to bleed, and this time it was beyond stopping.

His mum was there when he died as well. I held him and told him it was ok to go now, and he took one last breath and was gone.

As you can imagine I am sick with it. It hurts so much and all I can feel is a lump of lead in my chest. But what do you do?

I had the best ten years of my life with him, and I will love him forever.

Tomorrow I am going home, and we hope to have his funeral on Tuesday the 16th, which will give me time to do what is necessary like write his Eulogy.

My great pal. Gay is here with me now, and is a great comfort. I'm not sure things are quite at their worst yet, but I guess this is pretty bad, with a little more to come over the next few days.

Sometimes life really is a B----h.

Sam xxoxoxo

Posted at 7th Dec 2008 - 11:38AM   Posted by Exmoorjane   Cowgirl and Richard Comments: 44

Pipany's Avatar Oh my God, I am so shocked to read this Jane. It is truly dreadful and words for once fail me. Tests any faith I may ahve had beyond belief when someone this young has to go through so much, to this end. Too many young people dying so needlessly.

Sam, if you read this I am so sorry for your loss my lovely. You have done everything you could for Richie and have made his last days safer by his having you there with him, wrapping him in the blanket of your love. I wish I could do something, say something that would help, but I can't other than to say we are all thinking of you and sending our love to you. Keep on being strong and allow yourself to be weak when you need to - cry, scream, be silent, whatever you need to do is the right thing. My love to you xxxx

Posted by: Pipany on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:04PM

Elizabethm's Avatar I am overwhelmed here and my throat is thick with tears. Pipany has said so much of what I feel. I know you have had something very special sam and that you will always have it.
all my love and thoughts to you for the days ahead xxx

Posted by: Elizabethm on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:10PM

Blossomcottage's Avatar ......with love and fondest thoughts.

Posted by: Blossomcottage on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:16PM

TIGGYWINKLE's Avatar It is with such sadness, that I read of Richie's death. My heart goes out to you Sam. My thoughts and prayers are with you for strength to get through the days ahead. Bless you and a big hug.

Posted by: TIGGYWINKLE on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:34PM

Faith's Avatar Oh Sam, you poor poor girl. Eternal rest be granted to your lovely Richie. God give you strength.

Faith xx

Posted by: Faith on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:50PM

Toady's Avatar This is absolutely awful. I have lost what I consider to be two good friends within a week to cancer. Both lovely blokes, both well before their time,both a credit to themselves, their loved ones and the world in general.
Darling Sam please take some comfort across all those miles that we are thinking of you at this time, all wishing that we could do something for you, and even an old heathen like me is sending up a prayer or a vibe or a thought or a something for your dear Richie.

Much Love

Posted by: Toady on 7th Dec 2008 at 12:58PM

ChrisH's Avatar What a shock. I'm so very sorry to read this sad news. Thinking of you, Sam.

Posted by: ChrisH on 7th Dec 2008 at 01:04PM

Fennie's Avatar Dear Sam, I hope we can bring a small measure of comfort to you. This is so incredibly sad. Grief is like a vice. But Richie will always be there with you and for you on another plane. You will hear his voice at times of difficulty. The biggest hug you can possibly imagine. Love Fenniexx

Posted by: Fennie on 7th Dec 2008 at 01:12PM

Unpeuloufoque's Avatar I am so sorry to hear such sad news. Words are futile and of little comfort today I am sure, but I hope that the knowledge that you , he and all who knew him, loved him and will miss him are in our minds and prayers will be.

May he rest in peace.

Posted by: Unpeuloufoque on 7th Dec 2008 at 01:25PM

Inthemud's Avatar Just read the news, can't believe it. Such a shock. Poor Sam.
He'd been through so much, may he be at peace now.

My deepest sympathy , prayers and thoughts are going out to Sam now.

I don't know what else to say, but send the biggest purple hug I can manage.

Posted by: Inthemud on 7th Dec 2008 at 01:32PM

Suffolkmum's Avatar Oh no, no, no. Just looked in to see if there was any news. I am so sad. Dear Sam, you and Richie are in my thoughts so much. I am so shocked. I am so incredibly sorry.

Posted by: Suffolkmum on 7th Dec 2008 at 02:05PM

Preseli Mags's Avatar Such sad news and what a shock. My deepest sympathy at such an incredibly sad time. My thoughts are with you. xx

Posted by: Preseli Mags on 7th Dec 2008 at 02:09PM

Mountainear's Avatar So terribly sorry to hear this news and am sharing your tears Sam. Everyone else has expressed what I would wish to say. My thoughts are with you and your family. x

Posted by: Mountainear on 7th Dec 2008 at 02:30PM

Frances's Avatar Sam, you and your family have my deepest sympathy, and I so wish that I lived nearby and could offer you more that words.


Posted by: Frances on 7th Dec 2008 at 02:51PM

Bayou's Avatar Just this morning I had found the candle which I had lit for you still burning... and now these sad news. Dear Sam, I have no words. So so sorry, so deeply sorry for you. Sending a boatload of hugs and am thinking of you.

Posted by: Bayou on 7th Dec 2008 at 03:20PM

Patsy's Avatar So very very sorry to read this news Sam. Words seems so inadequate.
May it bring you some consolation that you were with him at the end as you had been throughout his illness.
To you, and all who knew and loved Richie, my deepest sympathy. xx

Posted by: Patsy on 7th Dec 2008 at 03:32PM

Pondside's Avatar Dear Sam
I'm so sorry to hear this news and will hold you in thought throughout the day.
From what you've written since I've been reading your blogs, I'd guess that Richie would say the same thing about the past ten years as you have said. You two were a unique gift to one another.
May he rest in peace, and may you find comfort in the difficult days ahead.

Posted by: Pondside on 7th Dec 2008 at 03:42PM

Elizabethd's Avatar Dear Sam,
I am desperately sad to read this, and can only send you my most sincere and loving sympathies. I will be praying for comfort for you.

Posted by: Elizabethd on 7th Dec 2008 at 04:00PM

Jackofall's Avatar So very sorry for your loss, there's nothing I can add to what others have most ably said already.

Posted by: Jackofall on 7th Dec 2008 at 04:19PM

Words really fail me at a time like this and seem so shallow. I too felt as if we knew you both, and are thinking of you and saying a prayer for Richard.

Life is full of joy - and such sorrow.

Be good to yourself at this time, give yourself the time to grieve, and to remember.

Posted by: Crucifix on 7th Dec 2008 at 05:50PM

Westerwitch's Avatar Sam I am so deeply sorry - we are all here for you in Spirit whenever you need us. And remember one hour at a time.

Love and Hugs to you.


Posted by: Westerwitch on 7th Dec 2008 at 06:39PM

Lampworkbeader's Avatar Sam, please accept my deepest condolences at your sad news. I am so sorry, so very, very sorry
with love Lampie

Posted by: Lampworkbeader on 7th Dec 2008 at 06:53PM

There is nothing I can add to what has been written. I am so very sorry to read about your sad news. My thoughts are with you. x

Posted by: HimalayanBlue on 7th Dec 2008 at 07:14PM

Snailbeachshepherdess's Avatar Thoughts and prayers winging their way

Posted by: Snailbeachshepherdess on 7th Dec 2008 at 07:50PM

Vic's Avatar Very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Vic on 7th Dec 2008 at 08:25PM

SallysChateau's Avatar I can only echo what many of the others have said and send you my love and prayers. xx

Posted by: SallysChateau on 7th Dec 2008 at 08:35PM

Bradan's Avatar Dear Sam,
So very, very sorry to hear this sad news. May Richie rest in peace, sending you my love and prayers. xx

Posted by: Bradan on 7th Dec 2008 at 09:23PM

Withy Brook's Avatar Dearest Sam, it has all been said. I am praying for Richie's soul and for support for you. I have pm'd you. My love, Withy

Posted by: Withy Brook on 7th Dec 2008 at 09:35PM

Lawyerlady's Avatar Sam, although I didn't know you, I feel as though I did and have followed your fight with so much hope.I cannot put into words how sad I feel at this news. I pray that you find the strength to face the days ahead and that Richie's spirit stays with you always.All my love xx

Posted by: Lawyerlady on 7th Dec 2008 at 10:17PM

I cannot express how sad I am to hear your news. With much love.

Posted by: Quilting Cat on 7th Dec 2008 at 10:45PM

I just clicked on the site to have a quick read before I went to bad, and what a SHOCK! I can hardly believe what I have read, although I know I must.

It seems like only the other day, when everything was fine with Cowgirl and Richard, and then again, only the other day, when we all thought that he was doing so well, and now this.

I am horrified, and so, so sorry, and sad. I am far away from you Cowgirl, but my love and thoughts are close to you.

Sue xxx

Posted by: Sueatkilmeedy on 7th Dec 2008 at 11:00PM

Salle de Bain's Avatar So very sorry to hear your news...I have been following your posts for a while.....

SdB x

Posted by: Salle de Bain on 8th Dec 2008 at 12:49AM

Camilla's Avatar I am so very sorry to hear the sad news Sam, I am thinking of you tonight, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Camilla on 8th Dec 2008 at 01:31AM

Sumarell's Avatar I have been out of town and am just home...what a shock to read this.
I am so sorry Sam and am sending all my sympathy and many hugs to help give you strength in the days ahead.

Posted by: Sumarell on 8th Dec 2008 at 03:31AM

My deepest sympathy, such sad news.
My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Casdok on 8th Dec 2008 at 07:34AM

KittyB's Avatar So sad, such a shock, so very sorry Sam. Whatever help we can offer... much love and thoughts. xxx

Posted by: KittyB on 8th Dec 2008 at 08:03AM

Mootia's Avatar Oh Sam...I'm so sorry to hear that Richie has finally lost his fight - what an incredibly brave and wonderful man he was to fight so hard. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you can in some way take comfort from the fact that we are all here with you in your grief. As you say, at least you had the best 10 years with Richie - I'm sure that you have so many memories to treasure. Take care of yourself and don't be a stranger. xx

Posted by: Mootia on 8th Dec 2008 at 09:32AM

Angel's Avatar Oh dear Sam

I am so, so sorry to hear that your lovely man has passed away and can only imagine how you must feel at this time.

Life is indeed so cruel. But how lucky you were to have found your soulmate and had such a wonderful ten years together. Some people never have that and you must hold that thought to give you some strength and comfort. To think that you could have loved someone and been loved by someone so very much.

What can we say to make this any easier for you. Except to know that we are all with you and sending you our love and support and to let you know that we are here to carry you whenever you need us over the coming days, weeks and months.

RIP Richard-you are in a better place now.
Bless you and your family Sam.

Big hugs and love

Posted by: Angel on 8th Dec 2008 at 09:57AM

Ivy's Avatar What ever I write can't make you not feel the pain, but be assured my thoughts and prayers are with you during this very sad and dark times. Big hug

Posted by: Ivy on 8th Dec 2008 at 10:50AM

LittleBrownDog's Avatar I'm so very sorry to be reading this. My thoughts are with you, Sam.

Posted by: LittleBrownDog on 8th Dec 2008 at 01:41PM

Milla's Avatar was in tears myself when I heard and am so so very saddened by this, Sam. My love to you. It is inexplicable to think that he should have gone, it all seems so quick, and you both so young. A real tragedy. You've touched us all. xxx

Posted by: Milla on 8th Dec 2008 at 02:02PM

I've been away for a couple of days and am just so shocked to read this. Sam, everyone else has said everything I want to say so much more eloquently than I ever could, but you are in my thoughts always.
Much, much love. x

Posted by: @themill on 8th Dec 2008 at 02:35PM

oh sam bless you xxxoo

Posted by: Bodran on 9th Dec 2008 at 10:23AM

Posie Rosie's Avatar So very sorry to read this Sam, I am thinking of you, love and hugs, Posie xxxx

Posted by: Posie Rosie on 11th Dec 2008 at 10:48AM

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