Cowart's Common Room
Letter from a friend..

Dear Friends

Just before the end of the year, I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the 15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

I can't even pick up the 5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!

Posted at 2nd Dec 2008 - 12:30PM   Posted by Unpeuloufoque   Letter from a friend.. Comments: 11

Re:
Fennie's Avatar I think, dear UPL, you have just produced an uncommentable-upon post.
But bravo all the same. Cheering on a dull morning.

Posted by: Fennie on 2nd Dec 2008 at 01:08PM

Re:
Lawyerlady's Avatar lolVery HappyVery Happy

Posted by: Lawyerlady on 2nd Dec 2008 at 01:21PM

Re:
Salle de Bain's Avatar Really enjoyed reading that.....

There's a lot to be said for cocooning (in my humble view!!!!)Very Happy

Posted by: Salle de Bain on 2nd Dec 2008 at 01:39PM

Re:
Excellent !

Posted by: Sueatkilmeedy on 2nd Dec 2008 at 02:00PM

Re:
Pondside's Avatar We must be on the same mailing list! Shocked

Posted by: Pondside on 2nd Dec 2008 at 03:19PM

Re:
Withy Brook's Avatar That's me upl - holding the mouse Embarassed

Posted by: Withy Brook on 2nd Dec 2008 at 04:23PM

Re:
LaughingLaughingLaughing

Posted by: @themill on 2nd Dec 2008 at 06:04PM

Re:
Elizabethd's Avatar Low IQ here.

Posted by: Elizabethd on 2nd Dec 2008 at 07:23PM

Re:
Frances's Avatar Oh, I think that my web protectors must be doing more protecting that I thought.

Un Peu, you do continue to offer such public service!

Best wishes!

Posted by: Frances on 3rd Dec 2008 at 01:48AM

Re:
Camilla's Avatar LaughingLaughing Brilliant.!!

Posted by: Camilla on 3rd Dec 2008 at 02:23AM

Re:
What mouse???Cool

Posted by: Expatmum on 3rd Dec 2008 at 03:37AM

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