Cowart's Common Room
Someone Thinks I Have Money

I have been getting a spate of calls recently from distant places like Hong Kong and Singapore by women with an urgent mission to get me to invest. Someone somewhere has got the idea that I have 'money'. They cannot understand why I should not want to jump at the opportunity to buy fourteen building sites in Manchester that presently do not have planning permission (but could well do so in the future) or an unspecified number of cases of 'fine wine.' I say 'thanks but no thanks,' whereupon they impertinently ask why - and refuse to be put off until I say I say 'dim arian gyda fi' (I have no money!) and even then they ring back five minutes later convinced that they must have had a wrong number.

Now the technique I gather is to first profess great interest - 'so glad you've called. Indeed, my broker had mentioned your name etc' and then simply to lay the receiver down. After a few minutes you pick it up again and ask them whether they would mind holding, and so on until they go away.

Alas I am too soft-hearted for such cruelty. These minions are, after all, only doing their job and probably only get paid if they make a sale. I just therefore put the phone down.

Brrr! The terrors of modern life. Still they flatter me by imagining my sitting in some great leather bound office with silk carpets and curtains, dressed in expensive clothes and issuing thoughts and invitations to the high and the mighty - instead of the reality, urgently sticking stamps on mailing bags and hurrying away to catch the last post.

Posted at 29th Nov 2008 - 10:09AM   Posted by Fennie   Someone Thinks I Have Money Comments: 13

Westerwitch's Avatar Have you got BT Privacy. Usually if you say that to them it scares them off. If they persist then ask for a name and contact phone number and inform them that you are reporting them to BT.

We have a property company calling us at the moment - they won't take no for an answer - they are rude and arrogant - the phone number they have given us doesn't work, they haven't taken us off their mailing list despite repeated requests. Next time they will be left on 'hold'.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 29th Nov 2008 at 11:15AM

I usually put the receiver next to the radio for a few minutes and let them battle it out with radio 4........

Posted by: @themill on 29th Nov 2008 at 11:56AM

Faith's Avatar Oh Fennie I am disallusioned - I thought you had money!!! I imagine you living in something like this, sitting cross legged in silk pajamas counting your piles of gold!Uploaded Image

Posted by: Faith on 29th Nov 2008 at 01:18PM

Fennie's Avatar Very HappyVery Happy and double Laughing But there's always time as the tortoise said to the hare. And by that time they will have invented tents with central heating!

Posted by: Fennie on 29th Nov 2008 at 02:02PM

Fennie's Avatar Actually, thinking about it (it is rather a magnificent tent, isn't it?; and no doubt comes with hitching for camels behind) I would have thought that it's rather more in UPL's style than mine, even though this very week I was commenting on Margot Wallstrom's blog by telling the story of Semiaramis, Queen of Babylon, who played the Grand Vizier in reverse. He, - that is the Grand Vizier - if you remember, rather ungallantly executed his lovers the morning after. That way he could be sure they wouldn't deceive him (or, as in the case of Scherezade, were superior story-tellers). Semiaramis - or so the exhibition at the British Museum says - did the same thing - only her lovers were male, which I would have thought might have depressed the ardour a bit. And the chaps didn't apparently come up with a decent suspense merchant either. But there we are. It's still a beautiful tent.

Posted by: Fennie on 29th Nov 2008 at 02:14PM

Fennie's Avatar But I have got the silk pyjamas!

Posted by: Fennie on 29th Nov 2008 at 02:17PM

Pondside's Avatar I knew it!.........Grand Vizer - I've always loved the sound of that title!

Posted by: Pondside on 29th Nov 2008 at 02:31PM

Pondside's Avatar .........I mean that I just knew you'd have silk pj's, Fennie. Over here we imagine that all Englishmen have silk pyjamas and velvet slippers.Very Happy

Posted by: Pondside on 29th Nov 2008 at 02:37PM

Unpeuloufoque's Avatar Oh Def my sort of tent Fennie although I prefer the egyptian ones much more colourful..tell me dear do you smoke a hookah whislt you lounge about in your silk jimjams?

Posted by: Unpeuloufoque on 29th Nov 2008 at 05:52PM

Fennie's Avatar My father used to posses one which he acquired on his African travels. At the age of 5 I thought it weird and wonderful. But these days I shall leave the smoking of hookahs to others. They are most style-ish though.

Posted by: Fennie on 29th Nov 2008 at 06:12PM

LittleBrownDog's Avatar Oh, what? You mean you haven't got money, Fennie? Surprised Well, I for one shall stop wasting my time and leaving comments on your blog in the hope that you'll eventually shower me with gifts Evil or Very Mad

Posted by: LittleBrownDog on 29th Nov 2008 at 10:33PM

Camilla's Avatar We always get them ringing us Fennie, I usually just put the phone down, sounds rude of me, but they do not seem to take no for answer otherwise.


Posted by: Camilla on 30th Nov 2008 at 12:03AM

Frances's Avatar Wish I had not had to go out to work today, because this correspondence just sounds so much fun.

I love the odd calls that turn up on my answering machine. Folks are so concerned about the insurance on my vehicle (I have no vehicle) or cleaning my carpet (again, wrong number) or addressing my debt concerns (I am pretty much debt free, but could surely use some more income. Oh, No, I have probably encouraged more callers!)


Posted by: Frances on 30th Nov 2008 at 02:02AM

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