Cowart's Common Room
Can I request something please?

I know you will all think me ... oh can't think of the word..... choosing to be blinkered or shut out the bad things but....

If someone wants to put up a post like WW's 'this is appalling' post below - could we be warned in the title with a big X or something. Today I think I am being very sensitive and I can't get the images conjured up by the post out of my head.

Obviously a post entitled 'This is appalling' could be about anything and maybe not something that I would consider appalling at all - whereas if it was entitled 'X This is appalling' then I would know and probably wouldnt have read it today. Some days I feel stronger about such things than others.

WW, I am not having a go - you know me better than that I hope. It's just a request. What does everyone think?

Faith

Posted at 22nd Apr 2008 - 12:40PM   Posted by Faith   Can I request something please? Comments: 42

Re:
Faith's Avatar PS WW maybe I should have PM'd you first. Have done so now.

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 12:43PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar No I know you are not having a go Faith and I appreciate what you are saying. I deliberately didn't put up any pictures because they were too upsetting. I did wonder whether, or not to even put the post up - I too hope it isn't true, but I felt very strongly and wanted to bring it to everyone's attention.

The thing is even if I had put something in the header like contains upsetting content - people would probably still read it - the only way not to upset anyone is not to put up and turn a blind eye.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 22nd Apr 2008 at 12:51PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar It's tricky. I was sent an e-mail with too too many details regarding that poor little dot James Bulger. My friend (extremely full on and robust) got very vociferous with me when I weakly remonstrated, saying that we couldn't turn blind eyes and it had happened and so on and so on and "not liking it" wasn't good enough, etc, making me rather wish, as on so many occasions, that I hadn't bothered semi-confronting her. But, like Faith says, it's maybe the unpreparedness as much as anything. I just thought, hey, an e-mail from P. There was a warning, but that tended to draw the eye more rapidly down. So then you berate yourself for somehow being instinctively voyeuristic and fret about that. The trouble is again that so many images of, well, everything, are everywhere so it is easy to get blunted to it all. So what I am saying is a typical feeble I Don't Know.

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 01:00PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar I have added a warning - was this what you meant Faith.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 22nd Apr 2008 at 01:14PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Yes, thank you WW. I didnt mean just this post specifically - I'm not trying to make a fuss and will leave it now.

Milla, yes you understand perfectly what I wanted to say.

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 01:29PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar PS, phewee, all this gets hard when so anxious not to seem to be saying the wrong thing. Wasn't lining you up with my friend, WW!!! (although friend is lovely, so, aargh, am not not lining you up because of that) oh, you know what I mean. I hope!!

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 01:50PM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar You know, I think it's a good idea. There are days when you feel like you can handle anything and everything and then days when you can't. It's a little like those blogs that have 'WARNING -ADULT CONTENT AND MAD BONDAGE HERE' and so on.
If you read anyway, then that's your look out - but you have been warned.

Don't think this should remotely put anyone off posting shocking content though. I do think this sort of thing needs to be brought to our attention - we can't hide our heads in the sand.

Had a look at the post in question and think your warning is spot-on now, WW..... What a horrible business though, regardless of the motives. Sad

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:02PM

Re:
Tattie Weasle's Avatar I think a warning is a good idea - I got the Bulger e-mail and it made me desperately upset. If I had had a warning it would have prepared me a little and that would have helped.
Sometimes you are strong enough and sometimes you are not.

Posted by: Tattie Weasle on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:12PM

Re:
SallysChateau's Avatar I take full blame, I sent the link to WW to post up, I was completely and utterly appalled by what I saw. Mind you when I investigated it further and saw the country that it was happening in these images are tame believe me.

Posted by: SallysChateau on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:22PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar It's surely not a question of blame at all, Sally. Yours, WW's, Faith's, any of ours for wading in with an opinion.

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:39PM

Re:
Ivy's Avatar @ faith:I think it is a pity that you feel that we might think negatively about you just because you had a concern and came up with a solution. I think it is a good idea and has nothing to do with being faint hearted or turning a blind eye. I ran into that same comment yesterday on a different site and would have wished someone warned me. I think you ought not to apologise for this idea. As Jane said we are not always prepared to handle everything that does not make us ignorant though.

Posted by: Ivy on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:44PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar Sally you don't need to take any blame - you sent me the email yes, and you asked me to put it up - the judgment to put it up was mine.

I also agree with Ivy - I am so sorry Faith that you thought we might think badly of you - you brought up a very valid point and I have acted on it and will make sure that any other 'shocking' posts carry warnings as well.

Milla sorry to that you feel you have to be careful what you say in case you offend anyone . . . it is ok for us to have differing opinions and to voice those opinions as long as it is done with respect for the other person's views and feelings . . what isn't ok is for any of us to descend into a slanging match. I don't feel any of us should tolerate that.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 22nd Apr 2008 at 02:54PM

Re:
Unpeuloufoque's Avatar Milla I too had the dog email..after 6 times of teh same graffic detailed photographs openeing every tiem I opened one I certainly could have doen with a warning. Thansk Faith for suggesting it and WW for comign up with a warnign label..another suggestion and not sure if its possible..could it be in red so that it is more obviously at first scim?.

Posted by: Unpeuloufoque on 22nd Apr 2008 at 03:50PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar I have now put the warning in red. Good idea.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:08PM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar Think actually this has been very useful - we're learning all the time on this site and seems like we've found a good way of handlign this kind of material - ie absolutely pointing it out but equally flagging it up as potentially distressing.

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:14PM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar PS - now of course we all need to learn how to put warnings in [b]big bold red letters![/b]

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:15PM

Re:
Exmoorjane's Avatar Ah well. Nearly. Sigh.

Posted by: Exmoorjane on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:15PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Sally, there was no question of blame, and I have signed the petition.

EJ, I will have to try learning how to use colour [color=Green][/color] green is my favourite. I will now press comment and se if this worked!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:25PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar I wasn't really getting on the Offence Horse, it was more a realisation that one answers one point from one stance, then views it later and thinks, yikes, I put that badly, someone else might read something else, something wrong from it. Then you (in this case me) bundles back in to retract the one thing and cocks up something else. A bit like bending down with a big pile of washing in your arms to pick up an errant sock and dropping a pair of pants as you do so. Can't even begin to tussle with Big Red Letters. It's the proximity of that "embed" word (whatever that means) and the concept of "mail" which throws me so. Might not be blonde, but born in the 60s, only so much technology I can take on. Sad

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:25PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar oh what did I do wrong?

Green

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:26PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Milla born in 60's is young!

Please some explain how to do coloured words!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:28PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar [color][color=Orange][/color]am trying now, this should be orange

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:33PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar nope, didn't work, boo

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:33PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Green

Blue

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:42PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Oh I did it - amazing!

Right Milla,this is what I did.... I think

Write the word red then highlight it and select the colour!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:43PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Ooh a whole new world!

RAINBOW

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:45PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Now I can muddle you

PURPLE

PINK

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:46PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar OK, will try - I had pressed colour then typed.
now I'll try, and I'll be as mean as you
blue
yellow
red
fingers crossed ...

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 04:50PM

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar Yes but can you make it


BIGGER and COLOURFUL


. . . .smug

Posted by: Westerwitch on 22nd Apr 2008 at 05:00PM

Re:
Jackofall's Avatar or big, bold and colourful

Posted by: Jackofall on 22nd Apr 2008 at 05:09PM

Re:
Jackofall's Avatar And to make it larger or bolder, highlight everything you want to be larger or bolder, INCLUDING the color codes if you've put them first, then click on B (for bold) and/or size.

Posted by: Jackofall on 22nd Apr 2008 at 05:12PM

Re:
Pondside's Avatar Well, that's what I love about this site - one can feel comfortable telling one's own truth, clarify, empathize, experiment, learn and have some fun.

Posted by: Pondside on 22nd Apr 2008 at 05:20PM

Re:
Milla's Avatar Oh you're all horrid, or you big bold bigger colourful ones are! Pondside isn't. Pondside is wise and nice. Anyone being big and bold is foul.

Posted by: Milla on 22nd Apr 2008 at 06:11PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar C'mon Milla we can be


[size=20]FOUL[/size]

too!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 07:17PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Whoops, Embarassed well we can when we learn how!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 07:18PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar [color=Orange]BIG[/color]

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 07:20PM

Re:
Faith's Avatar Oh I give up and agree with Milla - big bold colourful people are foul!

Posted by: Faith on 22nd Apr 2008 at 07:20PM

Re:
Withy Brook's Avatar My turn
red

Posted by: Withy Brook on 22nd Apr 2008 at 09:40PM

Re:
Withy Brook's Avatar Whoopee

Posted by: Withy Brook on 22nd Apr 2008 at 09:40PM

Re:
Frances's Avatar Party on!
Wish I could have been here during this call and response. It really shows how we do listen.
xo

Posted by: Frances on 23rd Apr 2008 at 01:26AM

Re:
Camilla's Avatar Have left my comments, makes me sick to the stomach, cried when I saw the words, did not want to look at picture, so did not click on it.

Posted by: Camilla on 23rd Apr 2008 at 03:10AM

Re:
I knew I would probably struggle so I haven't looked at all.
You're right-Better to be warned.

Is it just me but I've got so much worse about some of these things since I've got older...I just hate to think of anyone or anything else suffering. And for some reason these days if I get disturbed by anything I have the most TERRIBLE dreams.
So I choose to block them out if I can or certainly not look in more detail. Best left alone.


However, I know they happen....

xx

Posted by: Country Craft Angel on 23rd Apr 2008 at 10:35PM

Please login to comment

Sorry you must be logged in to post a comment