Cowart's Common Room
Mothering adult children

I've blogged about motherhood again as I have been thinking a lot about my own children this week, now all adult and away. I'd love to hear others' thoughts about mothering, ageing and the empty nest (not a syndrome which I really felt myself).

Posted at 11th Apr 2008 - 08:39PM   Posted by Elizabethm   Mothering adult children Comments: 12

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Faith's Avatar Will read asap Elizabeth. Got my 'mother of the bride' outfit for my daughter's wedding in June yesrterday!

Posted by: Faith on 11th Apr 2008 at 08:40PM

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Milla's Avatar read with fearful trepidation as have been fearing empty nest syndrome big time since that blue line first appeared. The trouble is, I knew how to behave as a daughter - but v much doubt my sons will give a flying *uck, however much I lie on the floor bleating. I jest. I go back, because my parents don't want me to, meaning that the volition is mine rather than it be an onus. Am still sure that daughters would be a better bet, but too pamned late!! Have to hope for decent d-in-laws!! Although I'm sure E just sees a future, 15 years down the line of wall to wall skiing and cruising (tasteful, only, natch) in which case had better start robbing banks.

Posted by: Milla on 11th Apr 2008 at 09:55PM

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Westerwitch's Avatar Love both our kids and still worry about them. But don't suffer from empty nest because I am too busy being proud of the independence our kids have earned and for the success they are making of their lives.

Said Bye bye to Robot Boy and Geek Girl today and as we watched them walk away HS and I were happy for the pair of them because they are clearly so much in love and enjoying and living life to the full . . . you can't ask for more than that.

Wildchild is doing well at Uni and looking forward to the field trip to Trinidad in the summer . . .What did we do to deserve such amazing kids. Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy

Posted by: Westerwitch on 11th Apr 2008 at 11:45PM

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Pondside's Avatar I'll head over and read ASAP. This is timely as my Lillypad leaves home at the end of next week. She has an apartment in Vancouver and an eight month co-op position. When Son-and-heir left I still had a little one at home, but at 21, she is more than ready to head out. Am I ready???

Posted by: Pondside on 12th Apr 2008 at 12:37AM

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Milla's Avatar oh dear, know, just know that I'm not going to be as adult and admirable as you WW. Fear I will chain myself to them and be have to be cut free and then locked up, for their safety.

Posted by: Milla on 12th Apr 2008 at 09:21AM

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Milla, one learns to pretend to be adult. Pre mobile phone days I used to get them to phone me from Uni, let it ring three times then put the phone down and I would then phone back.

So concerned that Firstborn would starve I added him to a credit card of mine. That worked fine till 'women' came on the scene. Then the bill shot up. He had the nerve to extol the virtues of one strumpet by saying that she would never ask her parents for money. Spent mine without a backward glance!

Now I am in a transition stage. I am in Granny Mode and have child duties during school holidays. He is 9 so busy,
busy.

Daughter phoned last night and bullied me into having an eye test when I return child. Tell you,she nags just like her Mother. She is booking the test so that I cannot 'forget'. Doubt she will pay the bill though.

So I am becoming the child and being organised.

When they are young it seems impossible that it will ever be easy being away from them.

Daughter is 33

Posted by: Miss penelope on 12th Apr 2008 at 09:37AM

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Westerwitch's Avatar Hah - just wait until they reach the teenage years Milla - the second they go out the house you will be considering moving and not leaving a forwarding address . . .and then you cover it up by admiring their independence!

Posted by: Westerwitch on 12th Apr 2008 at 10:05AM

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Milla's Avatar phewee, this is all sounding much more like it!

Posted by: Milla on 12th Apr 2008 at 10:12AM

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I have both mine home this weekend - it looks like the locusts have been already. The cushions are all over the floor as are papers and magazines. The kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes, despite the fact there dishwasher is right next to it, and there is a washing pile the size of Everest by the front door and in the Utility. They both still seem selectively deaf, and someone ate all my chocolate buttons last night!!!

Posted by: ZoŽ on 12th Apr 2008 at 10:52AM

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Westerwitch's Avatar Hey ho - that sums up what it is like when the kids return.

We have yet to hoover, but we have managed to calm down the washing machine and overload the dishwasher . . . and yes the sink is still there.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 12th Apr 2008 at 11:08AM

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Lampworkbeader's Avatar When my boys were teenagers and in their early twenties and still living, on and off, at home, my man and I seriously considered running away from home. We didn't. I rented the boys a house and turned them out instead. The best thing I ever did. Four boys/men all over 6 feet tall was more than any sensitive woman should ever have to deal with. They are all lovely pillars of the commumity now, but it was touch and go.

Posted by: Lampworkbeader on 12th Apr 2008 at 12:07PM

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Withy Brook's Avatar One thing is for sure - you never stop worrying about them! And another thing - there will be times when you are still their strength and stay - that is where I am just now. In between, they must be allowed to live their own lives and be people in their own right. I am very blessed - son rings me frequently and daughter and I usually talk for an hour, when we do speak!!!!

Posted by: Withy Brook on 12th Apr 2008 at 12:43PM

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