Cowart's Common Room
It is better to travel than arrive.

I have done my duty and posted 'Where I live'.

At the time I had one child out of Uni and the other still at Uni. I did think about what I was doing? Would they feel abandoned? Well yes I suppose they did but the reality was that it was as easy to stay in contact as it was from Scotland.

So many of you are still mums of schoolchildren, I remember feeling when would it be 'Me Time'? I also feared the empty nest. I had done the usual middle-class taxidriver mumsy thing. How would they cope without me dropping everything at a moments notice to do some chore for them? Certain family members were horrified and thought I was disowning my birthright!

On reflection I think that by taking my freedom I was letting them grow up.

So in my case life after children has indeed been very good.

Posted at 2nd Apr 2008 - 02:08PM   Posted by Miss penelope   It is better to travel than arrive. Comments: 10

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That's a nice post Miss Penelope. I rather dread my pair leaving the nest. But then again, right now in the Easter Hols I'd give anything for a bit of 'me' time!

Better get back to being referee!..

x

Posted by: Country Craft Angel on 2nd Apr 2008 at 02:45PM

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Milla's Avatar Well worth reading is Miss P's Where I Live.
But am dreading empty nest syndrome already, and I've got years to go!!

Posted by: Milla on 2nd Apr 2008 at 02:46PM

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For me it was horrendous, the children boarded weekly and when they left it was a though part of me had been amputated. I did not cope at all well. I excused my behaviour by remembering that they had been hard won. I had been infertile and went through 5 years of treatment to have kids.

So justified being a clingy mum. I had to learn to lighten up. It is not an easy thing to do, letting go.

Wonder how other Ancient ones managed?

Posted by: Miss penelope on 2nd Apr 2008 at 04:31PM

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Its a difficult one to negotiate Milla from my experience, I often feel a mix of elation at being able to chose to do what I want when I want without reference to anyone elses schedule (except when iGit gets petulant and asserts his rights as my 3rd child), and a sense of what is my purpose now. It's an odd mix, and one I certainly haven't mastered yet, although I am relatively new at it compared to other Ancients.

Posted by: ZoŽ on 2nd Apr 2008 at 04:39PM

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Faith's Avatar Not sure I will be referring to myself as an Ancient one just yet, but I think the girls growing up is bl**dy brilliant! I have been a mother for near on 29 years and now youngest is 19 and can do a few things for herself, and at least drive herself about - fantastic! - i have been released from many motherly duties and I love it!

I was a very hands on, always there, mother and a childminder for 15 years so I reckon I've earned my me time and will make the most of it before eldest gets married this year and provides me with a little sprog of a grandchild which will need babysitting and which I will no doubt adore.

And Milla - you can write that book when they've flown the nest!

Posted by: Faith on 2nd Apr 2008 at 04:51PM

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Westerwitch's Avatar I think I can honestly say I am now enjoying my freedom as much as the kids are enjoying their (HS too) . . .that way none of us feels guilty and we can all live fulfilled lives, but at the same time secure in being loved.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 2nd Apr 2008 at 04:53PM

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Elizabethm's Avatar When elder daughter left home I found myself crying uncontrollably while driving so had to pull over. I'm not a crying type so was amazed at how bereft I felt. Love it now. Love it when they come to stay. Love it when they go. It just took getting used to. It helped that at the time I had a job with a lot of travelling in it. Hate the work travel now and try not to do it but at the time it was a distraction.

Posted by: Elizabethm on 2nd Apr 2008 at 05:10PM

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Cait's Avatar I hated it when my second child left and the nest was then empty. I love the 'children' to visit and am eery sad when they go. I don't cope well with goodbyes of any sort.
Having said that I love me-time and being solitary is a must for me but not all the time obviously. Now I am a (young) granny there are two 'broods' to think of. and a lot more joy of course.

Posted by: Cait on 2nd Apr 2008 at 06:18PM

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Withy Brook's Avatar My two left in the early days of a new marriage and after sharing time with NO 1. As I was already getting very involved with Local Government, WRVS and Community Health Council I did not have a "what shall I do?/what is my purpose" thing. In fact it was lucky that G's 3, who were younger, came over from their mother's for the day/weekend and spent 2 weeks holiday with us, so they weren't the same probles. I often wonder how I would have coped if they had lived at a distance and come to us for longer periods!

Posted by: Withy Brook on 2nd Apr 2008 at 09:36PM

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Camilla's Avatar Did not like it one bit when my children flew the nest, my daughter at the moment lives nearby so that is brilliant as we get on so well together. My son I missed heaps, although he only visits once every 4/5 weeks or so, I get so terribly upset when he goes back to London.

I have my grandchildren who keep me busy, and I adore having them, although at times I would like that extra bit of solitude and maybe to be more creative, never did finish that book I began writing many moons ago.

Posted by: Camilla on 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:43AM

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