Cowart's Common Room
Dear All

I received this in an email, thought I'd share it with you.



Dear All,

My thanks to all those who have sent me email this past year........ yes you too Seasons Greetings.

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat manure in
the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.

I now scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

In fact all my money is gone but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program .......

Or, I'll receive it from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to
split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of
a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so
a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

And I dont go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number and I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda ,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant
death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I
found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by
a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at
5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your
back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity
always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

seriously though, I hope you all have a very HAPPY CHRISTMAS. You have all contributed in making my computer time, interesting and mainly enjoyable, Ihope 2008 finds us all well, and our forward buttons at the ready
God Bless
Angie


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Posted at 18th Dec 2007 - 10:24PM   Posted by Cait   Dear All Comments: 6

Re:
Westerwitch's Avatar Sums up a year in email land.

Posted by: Westerwitch on 18th Dec 2007 at 11:11PM

Re:
Withy Brook's Avatar And where was your hand as you read the email! I know where mine was! Embarassed

Posted by: Withy Brook on 18th Dec 2007 at 11:13PM

Re:
Camilla's Avatar Thanks for that Cait,

Wishing you and your family a very HAPPY CHRISTMAS, and a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.

You Dear Cait have made our time here just as enjoyable with your wondeful blogs, music, and pictures, not forgetting Poems, and I thank you for that.

Camilla.xx

Posted by: Camilla on 18th Dec 2007 at 11:48PM

Re:
Kat's Avatar I worked with a man who actually carried on an international phone call with some African princess who wanted to deposit her billion dollar fortune in his personal bank acount to help her escape her corrupt government. He considered doing this for several weeks before we fellow co-workers convinced him that it was too good to be true. Then he called President Bush to complain about it and got angry because the President was unable to speak to him in person.

This e-mail made me giggle and remember the genius that I worked with. Thanks for the laugh! Merry Christmas!

Posted by: Kat on 19th Dec 2007 at 01:56AM

Re:
Faith's Avatar I was giggling too Kat! I have to say that I delete most round robin emails even from family and close friends - I just havent got the time to waste (cos I'm here wasting it more pleasantlySmile)

Posted by: Faith on 19th Dec 2007 at 08:05AM

Re:
Milla's Avatar Hand on the mouse, here, too. Oh dear. Very funny though. Wasn't there also a promise that if you forwarded stuff to enough people Sainsburys would send you a large voucher??

Posted by: Milla on 19th Dec 2007 at 10:12AM

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