Cowart's Common Room
Coffee - come and grab it

Coffee . . . what - oh good grief it's my turn isn't it . . .

Still Gold Blend although the special offer has finished and here are the usual fruit teas - although I can't imagine drinking tea this time of the morning . . . anymore than I can imagine drinking coffee in the afternoon.

Walnut and date cake Very Happy dipped in the coffee of course . . . oooops - anyone got a teaspoon . . . QUICK . . . ta . . . slurp

And for today's chat whilst we have a coffee break . . . what is your most hated corporate speak . . . this has been inspired by Dancing Dog in the General discussion - Women in Business . . .

So go on what is your most hated corporate phrase, or phrases . . . . here are Dancing Dogs "kudos" "step up to the plate", "having a dialog", "get our arms around that", "circling the wagons" aaaarrrrgggghhh hate it - like nails down a blackboard - loathe Power Point presentations as well . . . avoid seminars now . . . infact avoid people completely . . . they might want to talk to me Shocked . . .anyone seen my marbles?

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Posted at 13th May 2010 - 10:06AM   Posted by Westerwitch   Coffee - come and grab it Comments: 17

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Preseli Mags's Avatar Oh phwoar look at that cake! I'm supposed to be going for a r...er... thing and I just had one last peek into here and look at that! Yum.

As for corporate speak 'blue sky thinking' is one. I used to work with a chap called Kevin who was full of it. We used to count up during his presentations and take bets.

Now I really am going for a r.. thing... I might just head up the coast in the direction of that cake... Arrow

Posted by: Preseli Mags on 13th May 2010 at 10:13AM

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Westerwitch's Avatar A r . . . thing taps foot . . . you know where the cupboard is . . . r thing . . . indeed . . .

Posted by: Westerwitch on 13th May 2010 at 10:18AM

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Westerwitch's Avatar Blue Sky Thinking aaarrrrgggghhhhh hate it . . .

Posted by: Westerwitch on 13th May 2010 at 10:18AM

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Fairy Nuff's Avatar Do you know what I can't stand...
Walnuts ...unless they are in walnut and date cakeVery Happy

My pet hates have always been "Growing Sales"...I'll grow plants and increase sales thank you...and "Human Resources"
I'm not a resource, coal is a resource, I'm a person so personel sounds far more personal thanks.
Very glad I'm not in the P.O. anymore they were terrible for it.

Can I have another bit of cake...Ta.Very Happy

Posted by: Fairy Nuff on 13th May 2010 at 11:19AM

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Jaynebeth's Avatar corporate journey

Posted by: Jaynebeth on 13th May 2010 at 12:02PM

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Fennie's Avatar Just read the Public Sector ads column - what does a 'community environment interface solutions adviser' do. Actually I made that up and I can almost imagine one - so it goes to show that the actual job descriptions are impossible to make up.

Ratcheting up or ramping up or even meeting up or worse meeting up with, annoy me. Park, for playing field, ditto.

Posted by: Fennie on 13th May 2010 at 12:02PM

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Jaynebeth's Avatar I use much more graphic business terms: nailing jelly to the wall or knitting fog or rare as rocking horse sh*t

Posted by: Jaynebeth on 13th May 2010 at 12:03PM

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Toady's Avatar Who scoffed all the cake????

I'm just pushing the envelope while my people speak to your people during this ongoing situation whilst thinking out of the box.

Posted by: Toady on 13th May 2010 at 12:05PM

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Fairy Nuff's Avatar Latest one we heard on telly is...
"reach out to touch our customers"
Sounds a bit pervy to meEmbarassed

Posted by: Fairy Nuff on 13th May 2010 at 12:32PM

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Dancing Dog's Avatar It must be a "Kevin" thing, we have one in our office and he's full of corporate speak. Look what I found.....

"Purpled out" Def. Out of the office. Taken from Outlook calendar, which generates a purple bar when someone is “out of office.” "I tried to invite you to the meeting, but you were purpled out for the day.”

Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy

Posted by: Dancing Dog on 13th May 2010 at 12:54PM

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Jaynebeth's Avatar wait i I'm interfacing with the 'go' team.

Posted by: Jaynebeth on 13th May 2010 at 01:07PM

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Never could figure out Human language, inside or outside the box (whatever box that is — I thought boxes were either the things you were put in at a zoo, or those things on the hillside made of ticky-tacky).

And who ate all the cake? I was going to have some for breakfast; I guess I'll have oatmeal porridge instead, with a bit of maple syrup. (It's just a bit past 7:00 ayehem in Bearland.) Time to "rise and greet the day." Sadie has already had her breakfast. I think I'm going to "purple out" for the day — meaning a day of watching birds and Purple Coo, though not at the same time.

Posted by: Rob-bear on 13th May 2010 at 02:11PM

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Preseli Mags's Avatar Any of that cake left? Am I allowed another piece? I have r... er thinged 6.5 miles....

Kevin always used to 'turn round', for example: "I turned round and spoke to X" and "I turned round to X about the sales figures", "I saw X and I turned round". We used to bet on the rotations. It was a dizzying experience listening to Kevin.

A friend of mine who works in PR always reckoned she'd get the job if she included the words 'facilitate' or 'facilitator' into her interview. (We always reckoned - and subsequently proved - that she got the job because she wore stockings and the male interviewers saw!)

My OH spends all day cataloguing crimes for the police, so his bugbear is police speak: "Persons unknown", "a male person" "a female person was dwelling inside a dwelling", "a male person allowed himself to be conveyed inside a motor car". They've got a whole language to themselves too. Rolling Eyes

Posted by: Preseli Mags on 13th May 2010 at 02:17PM

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Salle de Bain's Avatar Won't even state a preference for cake as I'm too late! My pet hate (as I told DD) is when someone advises to get "All your ducks in a row" aaaagghhh!!

These two are not necessarily corporate speak, but they really annoy me. 1) 'Ball park figure' and 'sexed up'.

Posted by: Salle de Bain on 13th May 2010 at 02:50PM

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Dancing Dog's Avatar Salle I found one to add to your pet hate....

duck shuffler: Just when you get all your "ducks in a row," a duck shuffler -- usually someone in upper management -- comes around and rearranges them for you LaughingLaughingLaughing

Posted by: Dancing Dog on 13th May 2010 at 03:35PM

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Salle de Bain's Avatar Ye Gods DD!

Would anyone like to get upper management in a row?

I've a few ducks here who are cracking shots!

Posted by: Salle de Bain on 13th May 2010 at 03:59PM

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I don't think you can get ducks in a row, but perhaps geese.

Did see a picture of a Border Collie trying to herd ducks — now that was interesting! Just ducky.

Posted by: Rob-bear on 13th May 2010 at 09:25PM

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